Appendix 30
Polygamy was a way of life until the Quran was revealed 1400 years
ago.
When the earth was young and under-populated, polygamy
was one way of populating it and bringing
in the human beings needed to carry out Gods plan. By the time
the Quran was revealed, the world had been sufficiently populated, and the Quran put down the first limitations against polygamy.
Polygamy is permitted in the
Quran,
but
under
strictly
observed
circumstances.
Any
abuse
of
this
divine
permission
incurs
severe
retribution.
Thus,
although polygamy is permitted by God, it behooves us to examine
our circumstances carefully
before saying that a particular polygamous relationship is permissible.
Our perfect example here is the prophet Muhammad. He was married to one wife,
Khadijah, until she died. He had all his children,
except one, from Khadijah.
Thus, she and her children
enjoyed the Prophets full attention for as long as she was married to him; twenty-five years.
For all practical purposes, Muhammad had one
wifefrom the age of 25 to 50. During the remaining 13 years of his life, he
married the aged widows of his friends
who left many children. The children needed a complete home, with a fatherly
figure,
and
the
Prophet
provided
that.
Providing a fatherly figure for orphans is the only specific circumstance in support of polygamy
mentioned in the Quran (4:3).
Other than marrying widowed mothers of orphans, there were three political marriages in the Prophets life. His close friends Abu Bakr and Omar insisted that
he marry
their
daughters, Aisha and Hafsah, to establish
traditional
family
ties
among them. The third marriage
was to Maria the Egyptian;
she was given to him as a political
gesture of friendship from the ruler of Egypt.
This perfect example
tells us that a man must give his full attention and loyalty in marriage to his wife and children in order to raise a happy and wholesome family.
The Quran emphasizes the limitations against
polygamy in very strong words: If you fear lest you may not be perfectly equitable
in treating more than one wife,
then you shall be content with one. (4:3) You cannot be equitable
in a polygamous relationship, no matter how hard you try. (4:129)
The Quranic limitations against polygamy point out the possibility of abusing
Gods law. Therefore,
unless
we
are
absolutely
sure
that
Gods law will not be abused, we had better resist our lust and stay away from polygamy. If the circumstances do not dictate
polygamy, we had better give our full attention
to one wife and one set of children.
The childrens psychological and social well-being, especially in countries where polygamy
is
prohibited,
almost
invariably
dictate
monogamy. A few basic criteria must be observed
in contemplating polygamy:
1. It must alleviate pain and suffering and not cause any pain or suffering.
2. If you have a young family, it is almost certain that polygamy is an abuse.
3. Polygamy to substitute a younger wife is an abuse of Gods law (4:19).
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